I’m so F***ING mad at myself right now. Like, I just saw a post from [local councilperson’s name] about the upcoming sanitation vote, and my immediate reaction was to get all fired up—to dig up some stats, make a snappy graphic about corporate waste vs. individual responsibility, tag a few friends who’d share it. Because that’s what I do. That’s my whole thing, right? The online activist, the digital warrior. Except... except the polling station for that vote is literally three blocks from my apartment. And I haven't voted in a local election since... well, since I *had* to for a civics class project in high school. Which, for the record, was like, eight years ago. Eight years. The hypocrisy is just... it’s unbearable. I spend hours crafting these impassioned pleas about systemic change, about civic duty, about how every voice matters, and meanwhile, my own voice is just... silent when it actually counts. My neighbor, Maria, the one who’s always organizing the block clean-ups, the one who actually *knows* the councilperson by name because she attends every single meeting—she probably thinks I’m a joke. Or worse, she probably doesn't even notice me because I’m never there. Why am I so good at *performing* outrage for an audience of strangers on the internet, but completely incapable of showing up for the issues literally on my doorstep? It’s not even a time thing, really—I’m freelancing, so my schedule is all over the place, sure, but I could make time. I’ve definitely spent more time scrolling through Twitter arguments than it would take to actually *walk* to a polling booth or spend an hour picking up trash. It’s just... the thought of actually doing it feels so much harder than posting about it. Like, what if I go to that community meeting and I don’t know what to say? What if I look stupid? Or what if it’s just... boring? (God, that sounds awful even in my head.) But then I see another infographic about voter turnout and I get all self-righteous and share it with some caption about "making your voice heard" and I just want to scream. Because my voice *isn't* being heard—not where it actually matters. It's just echoing in the digital void, a curated performance of care that rings completely hollow. And the worst part is, I know I’ll probably do it again tomorrow. Another post, another call to action, another quiet election day.