I’m gonna sound like a total ass I know, but I was at my parents' place for dinner tonight, and it just hit me. Like, really hit me. My mom was telling some story about my grandpa, and my dad was doing that thing where he pretends to listen but he’s really just waiting to jump in with his own version, and I just looked at them, and it was like a gut punch. They’re getting old. Like, really old. And I’m sitting there, the only one, and it's like, holy shit. The name. My name. Their name. It just... stops with me. I mean I don't even — whatever. It’s not like they ever said anything, not directly, but you just *feel* it, you know? The unspoken shit. Like I let them down or something. I know it’s stupid. It’s 2024, for fuck’s sake. Who cares about some old family name? But my mom, she’s so proud of it. Always talking about her ancestors and where they came from and all that. And I’m the one. The last one. To just... drop it. It's not even about kids, really. I mean, my kids have my husband’s name, obviously. And they’re great kids, I love them more than anything, but sometimes I look at them and it’s like, who am I even anymore? Stayed home with them, which was what everyone said was "best" and like, I don't regret it, but now they're older and I look at my parents and then I look at myself and it's like, I lost a piece of myself somewhere. The architect thing, that was a whole other life. Feels like a different person did all that. Now I’m just… Mom. And the last one of *them* to carry their name. And I didn't. I mean, I *did*, but not really. It just dies. And I’m the one who killed it. Sounds dramatic, I know. I just needed to say it out loud, anonymously, because if I said this to anyone in real life they’d think I was a total nut job. I just feel this weight. Like, I have this responsibility that I just completely failed at. And they’ll never say it, because they’re good parents, but I just wonder if they look at me sometimes and feel a little bit… empty. Like part of their legacy just evaporated. And that’s on me. I mean, it’s not *on* me, it’s just how life worked out, but still. The feeling. It’s heavy. And lonely. And I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do with that feeling. Just sit with it, I guess. Like everything else. Fucking life, man. It's just one damn thing after another. And I'm just here, feeling like I messed up something that wasn't even mine to mess up in the first place. I don't know. Sorry for the rant. I'm just… feeling it.