I’m so tired. Genuinely, bone-deep tired. And it’s 2 AM and I’m just… scrolling. Again. Why do I do this to myself? I know it’s bad, I know it makes me feel like absolute SHIT but I can’t stop. I see them. The interns. The ones who were fetching coffee, who asked me how to use the plotters, who I patiently taught about detailing schedules and structural grids. They're all SENIOR architects now. At BIG firms. Like, globally recognized names. And here I am, still a junior architect. At the same small firm. For seven years. SEVEN FUCKING YEARS. It’s a joke, right? I just saw Mateo, that kid who couldn't even remember to save his files properly, just got featured in some design magazine for a project he led. LED. I'm still doing revisions on projects I didn't even design, chasing down contractors for missing permits. And the worst part? I’m supposed to be happy for them. Their promotions pop up on LinkedIn and I hit ‘Like’ with a smile plastered on my face, but inside I’m screaming. Raging. Because I know why. I know why they’re soaring and I’m stuck. It’s this house. It’s the endless doctor appointments. It’s the therapy schedules and the grocery lists and making sure there’s always, ALWAYS a clean uniform for school. It’s the waking up at 5 AM to get a few hours of work in before everyone else needs me, and then staying up until 1 AM to catch up on the work I couldn’t do because someone needed a snack or a story or just… me. ALL the time. And then I see them in their fancy new offices, their sleek portfolios, their impressive titles, and I think, what if? What if I hadn't been the one? What if someone else had stepped up? Would *I* be the one designing those skyscrapers? Would I be the one getting featured in magazines? The thought just… suffocates me. I just want to SLEEP. And not wake up feeling like I've already lost the day before it even started. This isn't a life. It's just… existing. For everyone else.