Home/Life Choices/Settling regret/ThoughtI’ve been a deacon at Grace for forty-two years now, which sounds like an eternity when you say it out loud to a stranger, but it feels like...settling regretfaith doubtsShare this thoughtCopy linkShare on XDownload imageDoes this resonate with you?Share Your OwnBrowse MoreOthers have felt this tooI’ve spent forty years sitting in the third pew from the front, every Sunday like clockwork, and honestly i probably could’ve done the whole thing in my sleep.value contradictionsI have spent forty years wiping chins and changing linens and nodding like a goddamn saint while my husband forgets my name. …secret family resentmentnot literally of course, more like a cognitive dissonance that just wouldn't quit... …faith doubtsEvery Sunday morning, you stand up there behind the pulpit or the podium or whatever it is, and you feel the seams straining. …personality maskingRelated ThemesAchievement emptinessChildfree guiltPath not takenPurpose searchingRetirement Identity Crisis