I’ve been up since 0200, staring at the ceiling, thinking about how I got myself into this. It’s not like I didn’t know what I was signing up for when I chose law – the hours, the pressure, the sheer grind of it all. But I truly believed that once I made it, once I had a salary that could actually make a difference, that I’d feel… satisfaction. Instead, I just feel this cold, hard knot in my stomach. My mother called again today, practically demanding to know the exact figure of my latest bonus. As if it’s communal property. I just landed a significant promotion, and her first thought, her ONLY thought, was how much more I could funnel to my cousins' tuition. It’s never enough. It will never be enough. I’m paying for three degrees already, and it feels like I'm expected to fund an entire family tree, root to branch. The worst part is the anger, the sheer fury that floods through me when she says these things. It's not the request itself, not really, but the implicit ownership. As if my hard work, my sleepless nights, the constant mental combat of my job, aren't mine. They’re hers, for the family, for the collective good. I spent years in a system where you earned your keep, where every inch of progress was meticulously tracked and credited. You did the work, you got the recognition. Here, in civilian life, with my own family, it’s like my achievements are just another resource to be extracted. I remember feeling less used, less… *owned*, even during deployment. At least then, the demands were clear, the sacrifices understood. And I’m angry at myself, too. For not being able to say no. For letting this escalate to a point where my own financial security feels constantly under siege. It's a never-ending battle, trying to justify why I might want to save some of my own money, why I might want to invest in MY future, when there are always more mouths to feed, more tuition bills to cover. Every single time I get ahead, the finish line just moves further away. I just wanted to be proud of something, you know? Just for a second. But even that is stolen from me, immediately re-routed to the "family fund." God, I just want to scream.