I know this is stupid but I just need to get it out. It’s not a big deal. Whatever. But I actually fantasized about doing something bad on the bus today. Not like, really bad, but definitely something that would get me kicked off, or at least yelled at. I mean I don't even — whatever. It was just a thought. I was on the 7:15 home, after ten hours of complaints. Just constant noise, all day, people yelling about internet speeds, people yelling about their bill, people yelling at me because they can’t figure out their own router. And the bus was packed, standing room only, obviously, and this person next to me, like, right next to my ear, was on their phone, talking SO LOUD. Like, I could hear every word of their conversation. About their kid’s soccer practice, about their neighbor’s new car, just endless. And my head started to ache, like a physical pressure building behind my eyes. It wasn't just annoying, it was actually PAINFUL. It felt like my eardrums were vibrating from the force of their voice. After a while I just started to feel this weird detachment, like my body was there but my brain was somewhere else, just observing the pain. Like, objectively. And that’s when the thought came. Just a quick flash. What if I just… reached out. And like, twisted their earbud wire. Or just started humming really, really loudly. Or just. Said something. I didn’t do anything, obviously. I just stood there, staring at the back of the seat in front of me, letting the noise wash over me until my stop. But the fact that I even THOUGHT it, like, really thought it, for a second. That's what’s messing with me. It’s not me. I’m not that person. But for a few minutes, I kinda was. And it was almost a relief, in a twisted way, just to picture it. To imagine turning off the noise. I mean, it’s not a big deal, but it’s still kinda bugging me.