i never thought id miss the factory you know the one where i spent thirty five years of my life doing the same thing every single day same schedule same lunch break same faces same everything and now its like i finally got what i always said i wanted a life of leisure time to do whatever i want whenever i want but what is that exactly im fifty five and everyone acts like im just some old lady now like i should be happy knitting or something and my body its doing all these weird things you know like suddenly i cant sleep but im exhausted all the time and these hot flashes out of nowhere in the middle of the grocery store and people just look right through you like youre not even there anymore it feels like my body is just changing without my permission and i dont like it the hardest part is the quiet though after years of the machines and the chatter and the shift changes now its just quiet all the time and my husband god love him he just keeps puttering around the house happy as a clam watching golf or something and im like what do i do with myself the days just stretch out and i thought id be reading or gardening or something but i just end up watching stupid tv and eating too many biscuits and then i feel guilty about it i mean i worked hard my whole life i earned this right but it just feels so EMPTY sometimes and then i feel like a total idiot for even thinking that because its supposed to be a good thing right retirement and all that but honestly i just kinda miss knowing exactly what i was supposed to be doing every single day no thinking involved just get up go do the thing come home and do it again sometimes i just wanna go back to punching that clock you know just for a little while just to feel like i belong somewhere again