Okay so like, you ever feel like you achieve something HUGE, something you’ve been working towards forever, and then… nothing? Like, just this big blank space where all the excitement should be. That's kinda where I'm at right now. For years, all I talked about, all I like, planned for, was hitting fifty countries. My whole life, basically. Even my kids (who are, you know, off at college now mostly, thank god) they’d always joke about "Mom's next country." And my parents, bless 'em, they're getting older, so every trip feels like a scramble to get back in case something happens, but still, I kept going. It was my thing, my goal, my… performance review, almost. And I finally did it. Fifty. Just got back from, like, some tiny island in the Pacific that was country #50. And I swear, I was sitting there, watching this absolutely stunning sunset, you know? Like, orange and purple and pink, the kind that people post on Instagram and get a million likes. And it was beautiful, really it was. But all I could think was… "Okay, what's next?" Not even in a good way, like "What new adventure?" More like, "Ugh, what do I *have* to do next?" I was bored, man. Genuinely bored. Like I’d seen it all before. And that’s the REALLY messed up part, right? Because people would KILL to see that. They save for years. My coworkers, they're like "OMG you're so lucky." And I know I am! I truly do. But it just felt like… another box checked. Like a really long, expensive chore. And then the thought hit me – how many more boxes are there? And what if I check them all and still feel this… emptiness? It just kinda makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Like, all that chasing, all that planning, all that money spent – for what? To feel… nothing? Or worse, to feel like you just need to keep going, keep moving, because if you stop, if you actually sit still, then what? Then you have to look at everything else. My job, which is fine, I guess, but it's just office politics and spreadsheets, you know? And my kids are grown, my parents are… well. It's just me. And this weird, gnawing feeling that I used up all my excitement on a stupid number. Is that messed up? Am I a terrible person for thinking that? I don't know. Just needed to get it out, I guess. At 2 AM. Alone. Again.