Okay so like… this is gonna sound super messed up and I don’t even know why I’m typing it out here but I can’t tell anyone in real life cause they’d think I was crazy. Or like, a bad person. My grandma always says “you can’t put money before family” and like, yeah I know that! Obviously! But then this thing happened and now I feel all twisted up inside. It’s about a job, like a really good job. Overseas. So here’s the deal. I live in a super small town, right? Like, everyone knows everyone, and if you wanna do anything besides work at the diner or the mill, you gotta leave. My cousin Tiffany, she went to the city and she’s a vet tech now, which is cool but still kinda… regular? My mom always talks about how she never got to go to college cause she had me so young, and my dad… well, he’s not really around. So it’s always been just me and Mom. And sometimes my grandma comes over and helps out, but mostly it’s just us two. And I kinda always pictured myself taking care of Mom, you know? Like, when she gets older and can’t do stuff, I’ll be there. That’s what girls do for their moms around here. But then my art teacher, Ms. Jenkins, she’s really cool, she helped me get into this special art program thing. It’s not even like a real college, it’s more like a workshop, but it’s in another country. And they pay you! Like, a LOT of money. More than anyone in my family has ever made. It’s for a year, and then I’d come back, but like, I’d be set. I could buy Mom a new car, pay for her house repairs, maybe even send her on a vacation. She’s never been anywhere. And I could actually DO something with my art. It’s like a dream, right? The thing is, I told Mom about it, and she was so excited at first. Like, crying happy tears. She was like “My baby’s going to see the world!” But then… I dunno. The other day she was talking about her back hurting again, and how she can barely lift the grocery bags, and she kinda looked at me all sad-eyed. And then she made this joke, like “Who’s gonna cook me dinner when you’re gone, huh?” And it wasn’t really a joke, I don’t think. And now every time I think about taking the job, I get this TERRIBLE feeling in my stomach. Like I’m abandoning her. Like I’m a terrible daughter for even thinking about it. Is that messed up? Does anyone else ever feel like they HAVE to stay to take care of their family, even if it means giving up on a really good thing for themselves? Like, if I take this job, am I being selfish? Or worse, like, ungrateful? I feel like I’m supposed to want to stay and help her, but I also really, really want to go. And the money… it would fix so much. But then who would fix HER? I just… I don’t know what to do. Am I a bad person for wanting to leave? Like, is my future supposed to be taking care of her, and if I don't, I’m failing?