okay so i have to get this out like its 2am and i cant sleep and my brain is just going a million miles an hour and i just feel like im constantly running on empty even though i literally sleep like 8-9 hours every night. like i hit the pillow and im out but then i wake up and its like i never slept at all. the alarm goes off and im just DEAD. and it's starting to really mess with my head especially with work. im a social worker right? so like my whole job is being there for people and listening and being present and im just NOT. like today i was with a client and i swear i zoned out like three times. i caught myself and nodded and said "mm-hm" but i could barely focus on what they were even saying. it's so bad. and then i had to drive home and it's like a 45 min commute and i just wanted to curl up and cry the whole way. my neighbors probably think im super put together cuz my lawn is always mowed and the porch light is on but inside im just a total mess. like i literally just sat in my driveway for ten minutes just staring at the garage door before i could even bring myself to go inside. and i dont even know why. like nothing BAD is happening. my life is fine. i have a good job, a nice apartment, my car is paid off, my dog is cute and not annoying. but im just so damn tired. all the time. like i drag myself through the day and then crash and then wake up and do it all again. and i try to fake it til i make it but im just not making it. im so scared someone at work is gonna notice. or a client is gonna notice. like im supposed to be helping THEM and im just over here feeling like a shell of a person. it's like my battery is always at 2% and never fully charging. fuck. i just needed to say it out loud i guess. even if its just to this screen.