Okay so like I know this is a confessions board and all but I still feel weird putting this out here. Like what if someone I know sees it? But then again, no one knows me here, so… whatever. Here goes. I'm 50. Fiddy. And for like, my whole life, I’ve been a doer. An entrepreneur, you know? Always got a new idea, always hustling, building stuff from scratch. That's who I AM. Or, that's who I was. Lately, it's just… gone. The drive. The spark. I used to LOVE figuring out how to make something work, pouring all my energy into it, working like crazy until 2am because I was so excited. Now? I look at my to-do list for projects I *should* be pumped about, stuff I started and used to dream about, and it's just… meh. A big fat meh. I can barely even fake the enthusiasm for meetings. Like, I’m good at faking it, I’ve had to for years, but this feels different. Is that weird? Does everyone eventually just… run out of steam? Or is it just me? My mom passed a few months ago, and honestly, the last few years were just… a lot. She needed so much help. Like, constant. And I did it, you know? Because she was my mom. And now that it’s over, and there’s no more doctor appointments or trying to get her to eat or calling the nurses, I thought I’d feel… free? Like I’d get all my energy back, my brain space. And part of me does, like there's this weird quiet now that I didn’t realize was missing. But the other part, the part that used to jump out of bed with a million ideas, it’s just… not there. Like the volume on everything got turned down to zero. I feel kinda guilty admitting it, but there's this relief that she's not suffering anymore, but it's tangled up with this HUGE hole where my whole identity used to be. Like, who am I without the hustle? Without the caregiving? Am I just… an old lady now? And why do I feel so damn TIRED all the time? Is this what getting old is? Like you just… lose the thing that made you, you? Anyone else feel like this? Like you’re just… floating? And not in a good way.