okay so this is gonna sound super dumb I guess but I just like… used to LOVE all my projects? like my business, the stuff I do, it was literally my whole life right? and I remember being like, twenty something, and just working all night, every night, and it felt GOOD. like I was building something, you know? and everyone would be like "you're so driven!" and I really was. but now I'm fifty, which sounds SO old when I type it out OMG, and I just… don't wanna do it anymore. like I have deadlines, big big clients, and I just stare at my computer. is that weird? am I the only one who feels this? it's not even like I don't need the money, cuz honestly living in the city is insane expensive. but I used to get this kinda rush from it, like an adrenaline thing, and now it's just… nothing. I used to be so excited to start new stuff, think of new ideas, and now it just feels like homework, only way worse cuz I'm supposed to be the BOSS, right? and I'm supposed to be setting an example for my team and everything. I kinda just wanna curl up and watch stupid TikToks all day. I know that sounds like such a teenager thing to say but it's true. like my friends are still doing all these amazing things, starting new companies, getting huge deals, and I just feel like I'm stuck, or worse, like I'm giving up. it's super embarrassing to even think about. I don't even know what to do. it's like my brain just shut off the part that cares about work. I try to force myself but it's like wading through mud, super thick mud. and then I get mad at myself cuz I SHOULD be driven, I know I should. this is my whole identity, being this driven person, this entrepreneur lady. but what if I'm not that anymore? what if I just wanna like… do nothing? does everyone just kinda run out of gas when they get older? or is it just me? I feel so ashamed, like I'm failing everyone, especially myself. I just wish I knew how to get that feeling back, that *spark* I guess. it feels kinda gone forever and that scares me.