Okay so this is probably stupid, like it’s not even that big a deal, but I gotta just… put it out there, you know? Like, it’s 2 AM and I can’t sleep because my heart is still doing that weird thumping thing and I keep thinking about yesterday. It was my daughter’s fifth birthday party, right? The unicorn theme, bouncy castle, the whole nine yards. And I’m there, trying to be present, trying to watch her open presents and do the cake thing, but my phone is just BUZZING. Like, constantly. Emergency ticket queue, apparently some major outage. And my lead, Mark — he’s like, "Hey, you’re the only one I can get ahold of, can you just keep an eye on it from your phone? Just monitor." And I'm like, "Yeah, sure, no problem." Because what else am I gonna say? The thing is, it wasn't just "monitoring." It was like, full-on, I'm trying to send out comms, triage the urgent stuff, coordinate with the dev team from the patio while "Let It Go" is blasting in the background. My wife kept giving me these looks, like "Are you serious right now?" And I kept telling her, "It’s fine, it’s fine, just a little bit longer," while trying to make my voice sound normal for the team calls. I even like, had to step away for a sec when my daughter was about to blow out the candles because a VP was pinging me directly. He was like, "Is this fixed YET?" I just wanted to scream. And then later, after everyone left, I felt like… really weird. Like, my chest felt tight, my heart was racing. I drank a lot of coffee during the day, obviously, trying to stay awake with all the party chaos and work stuff. So I just told myself it was caffeine jitters. But it was pretty intense, you know? Like, I could feel my pulse in my ears. And Mark had messaged me earlier, "Great work today, really appreciate you going above and beyond." And I’m supposed to feel good about that, right? That I'm a "team player," that I really stepped up. But all I could think about was missing her laugh when she saw the bouncy castle. This is probably just me being dramatic. But has anyone else ever felt like this? Like, you’re doing all the things you’re supposed to do to be a "good employee," to move up, to not be seen as someone who can’t handle the pressure. But then you’re also just… losing something important? I look at my kids and I just want to be there, like REALLY there, not half-listening while I type out an incident report. And then I think, what if that chest pain wasn't just coffee? What if I’m actually… like, breaking myself? And for what? For a "good job" in a Slack message? I dunno. It’s just… it’s a lot. And I keep replaying it, like, could I have said no? Should I have just told him, "No, I’m at my daughter’s party, I can’t"? But then what? Would that make me seem unreliable? Like I’m not committed? This whole system just feels like it wants you to be available 24/7, and if you’re not, someone else will be. And then you’re just… out. So you keep going, even when your heart is literally pounding out of your chest. Anyone else ever feel like they’re just constantly trying to keep all the plates spinning, even when they’re about to drop everything and shatter?