okay so like every saturday morning the same thing happens. the alarm on my phone goes off at 6am even though i don't HAVE to be up that early for school anymore which is a whole other thing but whatever. and its not even MY alarm it's like a ghost alarm from when i taught 7th grade math and had to get up for the bus. but now it just rings and rings and i always let it because it feels like a really loud clock ticking and then i just get up and make coffee. and the coffee is always super strong because that's how my son likes it. and then i wait. and i wait for like an hour and fifteen minutes cause that's when he usually calls. and he calls, almost exactly, at 7:15, sometimes 7:17 if he's like running late. and it's always the same thing. "mom you up? we're heading out now. be there in like twenty." and then i hear the little noises in the background, my grandbabies already yelling. and then they show up and it's like a tornado. and i don't mind the kids, not really. they're cute. but like i spent 35 years teaching and now it just feels like more of the same only i don't get paid. and my son just assumes i have nothing else to do. like my whole life is just waiting for his kids to show up every. single. weekend. he just drops them off like a box of stuff and then he's gone until sunday night, sometimes monday morning. and i used to have hobbies, like i used to knit. i had friends. now i just sit on the couch while spongebob screams from the tv. am i the only one whose kids just... like, they just expect you to still be their parent? and my savings from teaching is not great, like definitely paycheck to paycheck sometimes with groceries and stuff so it's not like i can just say no and go on vacation. but sometimes i just wanna scream "I'M RETIRED FOR GOODNESS SAKE!" but i don't. i never do. i just smile and tell them to have a good time and watch them drive away in that fancy new truck he bought. and then i just sit there until the doorbell rings again. feels like i'm stuck in cement. anyone else feel like their golden years are just... extra childcare? it just feels so heavy sometimes.