we were at this party last night... for her new boss, big deal, right? everyone was there, all these strangers, and she just... glows. like she walks into a room and it just lights up around her, you know? and she's laughing, genuinely laughing, not that fake polite kind, and she's got everyone hanging on her every word, just... charming the pants off them. and I'm watching her, and she looks so happy, so incredibly in her element, and I'm over in the corner trying to look busy with my phone, pretending to check emails from work, anything to avoid eye contact, just hoping no one tries to talk to me. and it's not like I don't love that about her, that she's so outgoing and amazing, I really do, she brings so much color into my life... but god, it makes me feel so small. and then she came over, grabbed my hand, and pulled me into the circle, like "Oh, this is my brilliant fiancée, he builds amazing things!" and I just... I could feel myself freezing up, the blood draining from my face, and I just managed to mumble something totally lame, something about algorithms, and everyone just kind of blinked at me, and then she smoothly took over again, redirected the conversation, saved me, basically. but the whole time I'm thinking, "Is this what she wants? Someone who can barely string a sentence together when there are more than three people in the room?" like, she deserves someone who can stand shoulder to shoulder with her, someone who can keep up, who isn't always hiding in the shadows. I see her looking at me sometimes, not like she's disappointed, just... thoughtful. and it makes me wonder... is she gonna realize eventually that I’m just not enough? I mean, I’m 60 next year... and I've always been like this. Always. Never been the life of the party, never wanted to be, honestly. I'm good at what I do, I'm good at the quiet stuff, the thinking stuff. But out there, in the real world, with all these people... it’s just so much. And she’s so... everything. And part of me just wants to run and hide under a blanket forever, just me and my code, and another part of me feels this incredible guilt that I can't be what she needs, what she deserves. Anyone else ever feel like they’re just... holding someone back? Am I the only one who feels like an anchor? Like a boring old guy who just sits there while she’s out conquering the world? I don’t know. Just... wondering.