I just… I feel like shit sometimes. Tonight was one of those nights. We went to my fiancée’s work thing, some big mixer for her new project, and it was packed. Wall to wall strangers, all loud and laughing. And she just… she lights up, you know? Like a freaking supernova. She walks in and it’s like everyone just turns to her. Introduces me, of course, always with this big proud smile, and then she’s off, charming the pants off everyone in the room. Laughing, telling stories, making everyone feel like they’re the only person there. I mean, I love that about her. I really do. That she’s so good with people, so easy. But I just stand there. Smiling. Nodding. Holding her bag. And feeling like a total fucking weirdo. And it’s not like I don’t try. I do. I try to make small talk, but my brain just… freezes. What do you even say to these people? About their jobs? About the weather? I just feel so awkward, like I’m constantly looking for an exit sign. My fiancée always says it’s fine, that I don’t have to be her, that she loves me for who I am. But then I see her, just sparkling, and I see the way people look at her, and then they glance at me, standing in the corner, probably looking like I’d rather be anywhere else – which, honestly, I would. I just want to be home, coding, watching a movie. Something where I don’t have to perform. But what if that’s not enough for her, eventually? What if she wakes up one day and realizes she wants someone who can keep up with her? Someone who can light up a room too? I mean, I’m the one who handles everything else, right? I make sure rent is paid, the car gets serviced, I cook dinner almost every night because she’s always out with people. I’m the steady one. The reliable one. The one who cleans up the messes. But watching her tonight, just being so effortlessly social, it hit me hard. Like, am I ever going to be enough for her, just being… me? Or am I just the background noise to her amazing life? God, I hate that thought.