I remember when I first noticed it, a small damp patch on the ceiling in the spare room, just a faint discoloration really, and I thought oh that’s something to keep an eye on, and I meant to, I really did, but then weeks turned into months, and you know how it is, life gets in the way, and I was busy with this and that, and I’d walk past the door and think about it for a second but then I’d just close the door and forget it was there until the next time. It started small, like most things do, and it felt like it could wait, and I always thought there would be time, plenty of time to deal with it, and it never felt URGENT enough to call someone, and I hate calling people anyway, and it feels like an imposition and another thing to schedule and just a hassle. And now look at it, a proper SAG in the plasterboard, like the ceiling itself is breathing in and out, and the paint is peeling and there’s a distinct smell of mildew, and it’s past the point of just needing a little patch-up job, and I’ve seen the water marks spreading across the ceiling, like a map of my own neglect, and it’s going to be a proper mess, a whole production with plumbers and plasterers and probably a painter too, and it’s all my fault, every bit of it, and I know it. I was always taught discipline, you know, in the service, you spot a problem, you deal with it, you don't let things fester, you don't let small things become big things, and that’s what I’ve done, I’ve let it fester and now it’s a big thing. And I just look at that sagging ceiling, and it feels like a metaphor for everything really, all the things I’ve let go, all the little warnings I’ve ignored, and the opportunities I haven’t seized, and I’m not sure why I’m like this, why I let things slide until they become a crisis, and it just feels like I’m always waiting for the shoe to drop, and then surprised when it does, and I think about all the times I should have acted and didn’t, and now I’m looking at retirement and I just feel… tired, and this ceiling is just one more thing I’ve let get away from me, and it's a big, wet, expensive hole now.