Secret indulgences: You're Not the Only One

I don't know if this even counts as a real confession but I saw my lit professor today, the one for my English class, and like, he's supposed to be super smart, always talking about big books. …

I feel SO BAD when I stay up late in my study, the one with all the big books, and watch those dumb dating shows, like I know my buddies from basic training would just LAUGH if they knew I did that.

I saw my literature teacher, like, Professor Hayes? …

i feel so silly even typing this but here goes— im like a big deal zero waste blogger right? …

is zero waste. …

I gotta get this off my chest before I actually throw up. …

I swear to god I caught my dad—the judge dad—at like 1:30 AM in his study, like, with the fancy wood and everything, watching a show where people were yelling about a hot tub... …

You know that hot flush of disgust when you're meticulously weighing your compost, then go downstairs and light a paraffin candle – three of them, actually – just because he’s gone and the smell is… …

But it makes me feel like such a fraud. …

I hide paraffin candles in the basement and light them when my husband is gone, because sometimes it feels like we just do what we're supposed to and lose ourselves to save the planet—or whatever—and… …

Am I the only one who watches these dumb dating shows? …

Like I'm a fitness instructor a pretty strict one actually I push my clients hard I tell them no sugar no processed crap gotta eat clean blah blah blah I even do those cheesy motivational talks about… …

I’m a literature professor, early thirties, supposedly hitting my stride, you know? …

I don't know if this even counts as a confession, like it’s not illegal or anything but it feels SUPER bad, like deep in my gut bad, and I don't know if anyone else gets this but it's like I have… …

I’m like, a fitness instructor, which sounds super dumb to say out loud, but everyone here knows me from the gym, and I tell them all the time like, no sugar, gotta eat clean, but then after I teach… …

ok so like am i the only one who does this— like after a super long day of being all serious and Important and making big brain decisions i just wanna go home and watch the DUMBEST reality tv?? …

I feel like such a fraud sometimes, you know? …

And I'm sitting there, my big fancy literary journal open, all serious and professor-like… but inside? …

Like, bubblegum pop stuff. …

SO good for the planet and everything and I tell everyone at school I don't even like stuff that comes in plastic and I only wear old clothes and it's like a WHOLE THING for me, but sometimes when… …