I'm like really embarrassed to even type this out I mean it’s anonymous right but still I feel like someone’s gonna know you know? Like I'm a fitness instructor a pretty strict one actually I push my clients hard I tell them no sugar no processed crap gotta eat clean blah blah blah I even do those cheesy motivational talks about discipline and sticking to your goals and meanwhile I got this secret you guys it's so BAD. After like a super intense session with some high-powered executive type who’s like freaking chiseled I sneak out to my car and I pull out this little package from the bottom of my gym bag. It’s always there just buried under my resistance bands and my protein shaker. It’s a snack cake. You know like those ones from when we were kids? The cream-filled ones the super processed kinda gross but also AMAZING ones. And I eat it. Like I wolf it down in like 30 seconds before I even leave the parking lot. Sometimes I even like have to wipe a little bit of frosting from my face before I get home or before I pick up my mom from her bridge game you know? It's like this little moment of total rebellion and honestly pure bliss. It’s disgusting. I lecture people all day about healthy habits and I'm literally doing the exact opposite. My kids are grown and they’d probably just shake their heads and be like ‘Mom seriously?’ And my parents bless their hearts they just think I’m like this picture of health but I’m really just this hypocrite hiding my little indulgence. It’s just like the stress of everything you know? The job the parents the kids still needing stuff sometimes the office politics at the gym it’s just a lot to juggle. And I know it’s bad for me I know it’s not what I preach it's just like my dirty little secret. I feel like it’s gonna catch up to me though eventually like someone's gonna see me or find my stash or something. And then what? My whole image is just gonna crash and burn. What would I even tell people? Oh yeah I eat these gross cakes after I make you do burpees until you wanna cry. It's ridiculous. I should just stop but like I can’t. It’s my thing now. It’s my little reward for being like PERFECT all day for everyone else. It's kinda sad really isn't it? Ugh.