Sometimes you just… you know that feeling, right? Where you see something, and it just hits you square in the chest, and suddenly all the air just leaves your lungs and you’re just… frozen. Like, maybe you’re scrolling through something innocuous, something totally everyday, and then BAM. It’s like a jump scare, but for your soul, I guess. That’s kind of what happened to me the other day, except it wasn’t some random thing, it was a group chat. Not *my* group chat, obviously. That’s sort of the whole point, isn’t it? So, you’re minding your own business, right? Just doing the whole late-night doom scroll thing, probably because you can’t sleep because your brain just WON'T SHUT UP about all the things you should have done differently, or all the things you *could* have done, or maybe all the things you *will* do but probably won't because, well, life. And then you see it. On someone else’s phone, actually. I mean, I wasn't like, actively *spying* or anything, but it was just… there. Open. And it was a picture. A bunch of my old college friends, laughing, all super close, clearly having an amazing time, and the chat name was something like “The OG Crew” or “Forever Friends” or some equally saccharine thing that just makes your teeth ache, you know? And immediately, you just feel that cold dread, that awful clenching in your gut because you know, instantly, that you’re not in it. Not that I expected to be, I guess. I mean, I don’t even… whatever. It’s just that you kind of assume, or at least I did, that those connections, those people you spent every waking moment with, sharing cheap coffee and even cheaper ramen, pulling all-nighters for exams you barely passed, those were *your* people. For a while, anyway. And then life just… happens. And you move away, which, living out here, it’s not like there are a ton of options for, like, career advancement, so you kind of have to, right? And everyone else stays put, or moves to a big city where they all just naturally gravitate towards each other again. And you try to stay in touch, you really do. You send the occasional text, you like their posts on social media, you even comment sometimes, trying to sound witty or insightful or whatever, just to show you’re still *there*. But it’s different. It’s like you’re shouting into a void, and maybe they hear you, maybe they even wave back, but they’re already so far away, running their own race, and you’re just… watching. And then you see that picture, that chat, and it’s like a slap in the face. It’s not just that they’re hanging out, it’s that they’ve got this whole *thing* going on that you’re not a part of. This whole *secret* world, kind of, where all the inside jokes live, all the shared experiences that you just… missed. And the worst part is, it's not even like I don't see them. I mean, it's a small community here, mostly. We run into each other, like, at the grocery store or the post office. And it’s always super friendly, lots of "Oh my gosh, how *are* you?" and "We should really grab coffee soon!" You know the drill. And you *mean* it, at least I do. I truly want to catch up, to reconnect, to maybe even, like, reignite some of that old spark. But then the coffee never happens. Or if it does, it’s always just… surface-level. Like you’re both reading from a script. And you leave feeling even more alone than before, somehow. Because you’ve seen the evidence, right there on the screen, that they *do* have that deep connection, just not with you. And it’s not even that I’m, like, blaming them. I mean, people change, lives change, I get that. And maybe I’m the one who changed, or maybe I just… didn’t fit in the same way anymore. I don’t know. It’s just that you build up this whole narrative in your head about how things are supposed to be, how friendships are supposed to last, especially those intense college ones, you know? And then reality just comes crashing down, like a wrecking ball made of smiling faces in a group chat you’re not in. And you just get so ANGRY, sometimes. Not even at them, necessarily, but just at the whole situation. At yourself, maybe, for not being… something else. For not being more outgoing, or more successful, or more *interesting*, I guess. For not fitting into whatever mold they’ve created for their “OG Crew.” And you’re out here in this small town, where everyone knows everyone’s business, and it just feels like you’re stuck, you know? Stuck in this loop of almost-friendships and never-quite-fitting-in. And you just want to scream, sometimes. Scream at the phone, scream at the screen, scream at the unfairness of it all. But you don't. You just close your eyes, and pretend you didn't see it. And then you scroll on. And the ache just stays.