I just spent twenty minutes crying, like, HIDING in the narrowest stall in the departmental bathroom after that critique today. My PI basically implied I’m not cut out for this, sort of, questioned my "professional comportment" and I guess my coping mechanism was to run and silently sob so no one would see — because then they’d REALLY know I’m not composed, right? I just… I don’t even KNOW why it hit me so hard, maybe it's the lack of sleep or the constant guilt about my kid, but it felt like a total personality disintegration. My identity feels completely consumed by keeping everyone else afloat, and then I just… fall apart over a PAPER? It’s DISORIENTING.