i just stood there today at table seven reciting the osso buco special like it was poetry like i hadn't just watched two SUVs nearly collide outside the window like my skin wasn't absolutely SCREAMING from the fluorescent lights and the clatter of forks and the way Mrs Henderson from next door kept peering at me like she knew i was about to bolt like a rabbit into traffic i just wanted to drop the tray and RUN but you can't right not when everyone's watching not when you have to smile and pretend everything is just fine a perfect little suburban automaton and my palms are still sweating hours later from holding it all in it's EXHAUSTING.