I feel really stupid for even typing this, like, a total idiot. It’s about my dad. Everyone else’s dad is… normal, I guess? Mine isn’t. Not like he’s crazy or anything, it’s just… different. He was in the army for forever, before I was born even, and he just… yells. Not always, but at dinner parties? It’s BAD. Like, he’ll get super loud about politics or something dumb, and his face gets all red, and everyone just kinda stares at their plates. And my mom… she’ll always jump in and be like, “Oh, he’s just stressed from work, he’s really tired.” And she’ll give him this look, like she’s trying to tell him to calm down without actually saying it. And then everyone tries to pretend it didn’t happen, but it totally did. I just want to sink into the floor every time. It’s so embarrassing. The worst part is that she does it all the time, she defends him even when he’s being a total jerk. Like, yesterday, he got mad because I left my backpack on the kitchen table and he just stared at me, like, right into my eyes, and said “You really are just like your mother, aren’t you? Useless.” And my mom was right there, making dinner, and she just… didn’t say anything. She just kept stirring the pot. But then, later, when my aunt called and asked about him, my mom was all “Oh, he’s just having a tough week, bless his heart.” And it’s like, who are you talking about? The man who just called me useless? Or the one who yells at everyone at dinner? It makes my head spin. (Sometimes I think she actually believes it.) I don’t know why I’m telling you this. It just feels like… a secret I have to keep, you know? Like, if anyone knew how he really was, they wouldn’t think my mom was so nice, or that our family was so… together. Because we’re not. And I don’t even know what to do about it. It’s just how it is. And I hate that I’m becoming like her, making excuses for him even in my own head. (But he did serve our country, right? So maybe he deserves a break.) My stomach just feels all squiggly and sick thinking about the next time we have people over. It’s coming up soon. I just know it.