I feel like a total snake. like, the slimiest, rattiest little snake in the whole world. I’m a teacher, right? elementary school, all tiny humans and glitter. I love it, like, LOVE it. but… I want to be a principal. and I CANNOT tell anyone at work. especially not the older teachers. it’s this weird thing. like, all the other teachers, they’ve been there FOREVER. ms. davis, she taught my DAD. no joke. and they’re so good at what they do. they know everything. how to handle the parents, how to get the kids to sit still for story time, where all the secret good markers are kept. and I just started. I’m still figuring out how to work the copier without jamming it every five minutes, no lie. but… I have this plan. like, a whole map in my head. I wanna be a principal. I see things that could be better, little stuff, big stuff. I think about how I’d organize the school carnival differently, or how we could get more books for the library. and sometimes, when the principal is talking, I catch myself thinking “if *I* was principal, I would…” and then I get super embarrassed even in my head. it feels like… it feels like I’m disrespecting them. like their experience means nothing. so I just… hide it. when they talk about what they wanna do next year, it’s always like “oh, more art projects” or “maybe a new unit on bugs.” and I just nod and smile and pretend like that’s all I think about too. and then sometimes ms. davis will be like “you’re so good with the kids, you have such a BRIGHT future ahead of you as a teacher!” and I just wanna scream, “I WANNA BE YOUR BOSS SOMEDAY!” but I don’t. cause then she’d probably give me this look like I’m a crazy person. or worse, like I’m just some snot-nosed kid who thinks they know everything. it’s exhausting. like having a whole secret life. and it makes me feel like such a fraud. I wanna be honest, but I also don’t want them to suddenly be like, “oh, she’s only here to climb the ladder, she doesn’t REALLY care about these kids.” which isn't true. I DO care. I just also care about… the ladder. it’s not like I get benefits from this teaching gig anyway, so I gotta think about my future, right? gotta hustle. so yeah. I’m a teacher. and a snake. a secret principal snake. ha ha ha. kill me now.