I just turned fifty and I’m staring at my life my life my life and I can’t stop thinking about that stupid internship that international one the one I said no to because some idiot told me a stable local branch was smart was practical because I had a baby to think about a sick mum a mortgage oh GOD I just wanted to do something different for ONCE for me just one thing and now I’m here and it’s too late isn’t it it’s too fucking late.