You know that feeling when you finally get through something huge. Like, years of it. And then it’s just… gone. And everyone thinks you’re fine because the “thing” isn’t there anymore. But you’re not fine. You’re just… empty. That’s where I’m at. My mom, she was sick for so long. Took everything. I was on call 24/7. Her passing… it was a relief, yeah, I won’t lie. But then this other thing hit me. This quiet. This *nothing*. I don’t even know what to do with myself now. And then there’s the school thing. My kid’s in middle school now. And you see all the parents at the drop-off, the pick-up. Still doing their whole parent-friend groups. Grabbing coffee, doing dinner things. Laughing, loud sometimes. You think, maybe you could slide in there. But then you remember all those years you couldn’t. Couldn’t do the bake sales, couldn’t do the PTA, couldn’t do the coffee. Because there was always *her*. Always that phone call. Always that emergency. So you just… didn’t. Now you’re standing there, watching them, and you just feel like a ghost. Like you missed the boat. Someone tried to be nice once, at the science fair. “Oh, it’s so good to see you, haven’t seen you around much!” And you just mumbled something about being busy. You didn’t say, “I was watching my mother die slow.” Because who wants to hear that? Who wants that kind of downer at a science fair? So you just smile a fake smile and look at your shoes. You see them with their arms around each other, talking about their weekend plans. And you think, what even *are* weekend plans? For so long, my weekend plans were meds and doctors and trying to get her to eat. Now my weekend plans are… sitting on the couch, staring at the wall. My kid’s got friends, they’re fine. But me? I feel like I just got out of prison or something. But no one even knows I was locked up. Sometimes you just wanna yell, “HEY! I’m here! I’m free! Kinda!” But then you don’t. Because you’re too old for that kind of drama. And what if they just look at you weird? What if they think you’re pathetic? It’s probably easier to just keep my head down. Keep being the quiet one. The one who just shows up and leaves. It’s what I know how to do. After all this time, it’s all I know.