Why do I defend family members who mistreat me?
It's common to feel a strong pull to protect family, even when their actions cause you pain. This often stems from deep-seated loyalties, a desire to maintain family unity, or a hope that things will improve. You might also have learned patterns of putting others' needs before your own within your family system.
Research indicates that individuals raised in dysfunctional family environments are more likely to develop patterns of defending or enabling harmful behaviors in adulthood, often out of a learned sens
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Frequently Asked Questions
Why is it so hard to speak up to abusive family?▾
Speaking up can be incredibly difficult due to fear of conflict, rejection, or making the situation worse. There might also be a long history of power imbalances or a belief that your concerns won't be heard or taken seriously.
What are the signs of unhealthy family loyalty?▾
Unhealthy family loyalty often involves excusing harmful behavior, sacrificing your own needs or values for the family, or feeling obligated to keep secrets that cause distress. It can also manifest as constantly defending family to outsiders, even when you know their actions are wrong.
How can I stop enabling harmful family behavior?▾
Stopping involves recognizing the patterns and deciding to prioritize your own well-being. This might mean changing how you respond to their actions, setting limits on your involvement, or reducing contact when the behavior persists and harms you.
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