Does everyone downplay their own achievements to avoid envy?

Many people find themselves minimizing their successes, often out of a genuine concern for how others might react. This isn't an uncommon impulse, stemming from a desire to maintain social harmony or protect relationships. It's a subtle negotiation many engage in, balancing personal satisfaction with perceived social costs.

Research from the University of California, Berkeley, suggests that over 60% of individuals have admitted to downplaying their successes at some point to avoid negative social repercussions.

See other perspectives

Am I the only one who downplays their achievements to avoid envy?

Am I the Only One?

Is it normal to downplay your own achievements to avoid making others jealous?

Is It Normal?

Is it weird to downplay your own achievements to avoid envy?

Is It Weird?

Why do I downplay my own achievements to avoid envy?

Why Do I?

Real stories from the community

A really, really dumb impulse that I can’t undo now, and it’s just sitting there, out in the open, for anyone to see. …

jealousy hiding

I still remember the way my smile stretched for Mark when he got that scholarship, the one to State for track. …

jealousy hiding

What I didn't verbalize, of course, was the pervasive sense of internal discord. …

jealousy hiding

I just sent Mark the nicest email, congrats on winning the firm's design thing, and all I can think about is how my plans were so much better, like WAY more original, and it just feels so stupid to… …

jealousy hiding

Like my car is ancient, practically a relic, and I'm still trying to figure out how to make ends meet with my art, and I guess I just felt this huge pang, like I've maybe missed something really… …

jealousy hiding

Frequently Asked Questions

Why do people hide their successes from others?▾
People often hide successes to prevent feelings of jealousy in others, fearing it could strain friendships or create social awkwardness. There's also a desire to appear humble and approachable, rather than boastful.
Is it bad to feel envious of someone's achievements?▾
Feeling envious is a natural human emotion, and not inherently 'bad.' It can signal what you desire for yourself. The key is how you respond to that feeling – whether it motivates you or leads to resentment.
How can I share good news without making others jealous?▾
When sharing good news, try to focus on the effort involved or express gratitude, rather than just the outcome. Sharing in a way that invites others to celebrate with you, rather than feel overshadowed, can also help.

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