Is it weird to downplay your own achievements to avoid envy?

It's quite common to soften your successes, especially around people you suspect might feel competitive or insecure. This isn't about lacking confidence, but often a social strategy to maintain harmony and avoid making others feel uncomfortable. Many people subtly adjust how they share good news to prevent potential resentment from friends or family members.

Research from the University of California suggests that perceived social comparison can activate similar brain regions to physical pain, highlighting why people often try to mitigate it.

See other perspectives

Am I the only one who downplays their achievements to avoid envy?

Am I the Only One?

Does everyone downplay their own achievements to avoid envy?

Does Everyone?

Is it normal to downplay your own achievements to avoid making others jealous?

Is It Normal?

Why do I downplay my own achievements to avoid envy?

Why Do I?

Real stories from the community

A really, really dumb impulse that I can’t undo now, and it’s just sitting there, out in the open, for anyone to see. …

jealousy hiding

I still remember the way my smile stretched for Mark when he got that scholarship, the one to State for track. …

jealousy hiding

What I didn't verbalize, of course, was the pervasive sense of internal discord. …

jealousy hiding

I just sent Mark the nicest email, congrats on winning the firm's design thing, and all I can think about is how my plans were so much better, like WAY more original, and it just feels so stupid to… …

jealousy hiding

Like my car is ancient, practically a relic, and I'm still trying to figure out how to make ends meet with my art, and I guess I just felt this huge pang, like I've maybe missed something really… …

jealousy hiding

Frequently Asked Questions

Why do people downplay their successes?▾
People often downplay their successes as a way to manage social dynamics, avoid making others feel inadequate, or prevent feelings of jealousy from arising in their relationships.
Does downplaying achievements actually prevent envy?▾
While it can sometimes reduce immediate friction, downplaying achievements doesn't always prevent envy. True envy often stems from deeper insecurities in the other person, which your actions might not fully address.
How can I share good news without causing resentment?▾
Sharing good news thoughtfully involves considering your audience. You might focus on the effort involved, express gratitude, or share it in a way that invites celebration rather than comparison.

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