Why do I downplay my own achievements to avoid envy?

Many people diminish their successes out of a genuine concern that their accomplishments might make others feel bad or jealous. This often stems from a desire to maintain social harmony and protect relationships, rather than a lack of self-worth. It's a common, albeit often unhelpful, strategy to manage the perceived negative reactions of others.

Research from social psychology suggests that individuals are more likely to minimize their achievements when they perceive a high degree of social comparison or competition within their close relatio

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Am I the only one who downplays their achievements to avoid envy?

Am I the Only One?

Does everyone downplay their own achievements to avoid envy?

Does Everyone?

Is it normal to downplay your own achievements to avoid making others jealous?

Is It Normal?

Is it weird to downplay your own achievements to avoid envy?

Is It Weird?

Real stories from the community

A really, really dumb impulse that I can’t undo now, and it’s just sitting there, out in the open, for anyone to see. …

jealousy hiding

I still remember the way my smile stretched for Mark when he got that scholarship, the one to State for track. …

jealousy hiding

What I didn't verbalize, of course, was the pervasive sense of internal discord. …

jealousy hiding

I just sent Mark the nicest email, congrats on winning the firm's design thing, and all I can think about is how my plans were so much better, like WAY more original, and it just feels so stupid to… …

jealousy hiding

Like my car is ancient, practically a relic, and I'm still trying to figure out how to make ends meet with my art, and I guess I just felt this huge pang, like I've maybe missed something really… …

jealousy hiding

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it normal to hide success from friends?▾
Yes, it can be quite common to temper expressions of success around friends, especially if you're worried about how they might react or if there's a history of competitive dynamics. This isn't unusual when trying to maintain comfortable social connections.
How does fear of jealousy affect sharing good news?▾
Fear of jealousy often leads individuals to filter or hold back good news, especially when they anticipate a less-than-enthusiastic or even resentful response from others. This can make sharing personal triumphs feel complicated.
What's the difference between humility and downplaying achievements?▾
Humility is a genuine modesty about one's abilities, while downplaying achievements specifically refers to intentionally minimizing accomplishments, often out of a concern for others' reactions or to avoid perceived negative attention. One is an internal trait, the other a social strategy.

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