Is it normal to avoid talking about someone after they've died?
Many people find themselves hesitant or even actively avoiding conversations about a person who has passed away. This can stem from a desire to protect themselves or others from pain, or a feeling that bringing up the deceased will make things harder. It's a common response as individuals cope with immense loss and the shifting dynamics of their relationships. This silence doesn't diminish the love or memory.
Research suggests that up to 60% of people report sometimes avoiding reminders or conversations about a deceased loved one in the initial years after a loss.
See other perspectives
Real stories from the community
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do I feel uncomfortable mentioning their name?▾
Feeling uncomfortable can be due to several reasons, including fear of upsetting others, not wanting to cry in front of people, or simply not knowing how to bring them up without feeling overwhelmed. It's a protective instinct.
Is it disrespectful to not talk about the person who died?▾
No, it's not disrespectful. How you grieve is personal. Silence doesn't mean you've forgotten or don't care deeply. Many people honor memories in private ways, and speaking about them can feel too raw at times.
What if my family avoids talking about them too?▾
It's common for entire families to struggle with how to talk about a deceased member. This collective silence can be a shared coping mechanism, sometimes making it harder for anyone to break the pattern. It doesn't mean no one is thinking about them.
Have your own experience to share?
Share Your Story