Why do I avoid talking about the person who died?

Many people find it difficult to speak about a loved one after they've passed away. This often stems from a desire to protect yourself or others from painful emotions, or a fear of bringing up difficult memories. Sometimes, it can also be a way to avoid the reality of their absence.

Research indicates that around 60% of bereaved individuals report finding it challenging to discuss their loss with others at some point during their grief experience.

See other perspectives

Am I the only one who avoids talking about the person who died?

Am I the Only One?

Does everyone avoid talking about the person who died?

Does Everyone?

Is it normal to avoid talking about someone after they've died?

Is It Normal?

Is it weird to avoid talking about someone who died?

Is It Weird?

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because I still pay for someone's phone plan, like, even though they're not here anymore and I text it every day, like about my classes and the stupid drama at my internship, and it's just so much… …

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It’s been ingrained since I was barely out of my teens, that whole "mission first" mentality. …

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like still a fucking museum of his old soccer trophies and his dirty laundry from when he was 16 or something—it's been like that for YEARS. …

unresolved grief

Every year, same day, same time more or less, I buy a baby blanket. …

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Frequently Asked Questions

Is it normal to not want to talk about someone who passed away?▾
Yes, it's a very common experience. Many individuals find that talking about the deceased can trigger intense sadness, and avoiding the topic can feel like a way to manage these overwhelming feelings or prevent emotional distress for themselves and others.
What if my family avoids talking about the person who died?▾
Family dynamics around grief can be complex. Sometimes, a family might collectively avoid the topic to try and shield each other from pain, or because each member is struggling in their own way and finds it too difficult to open up about it with others.
How can I start talking about my loved one again?▾
Starting small can help. You might begin by looking at photos, recalling a happy memory to yourself, or sharing a brief, positive anecdote with a trusted friend. There's no pressure to force conversations, but gentle steps can make it feel more manageable over time.

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