Is it normal to frequently picture what life would be like with an ex-partner?

It's quite common for thoughts about past relationships, including imagining 'what if' scenarios, to surface from time to time. Our minds often revisit significant life choices and the paths not taken, especially when reflecting on our personal history. This mental exercise can be a natural way of evaluating where we are now versus where we might have been.

Research suggests that over 60% of individuals occasionally reflect on past romantic relationships and alternative life scenarios, even years after a breakup.

See other perspectives

Am I the only one who frequently pictures what life would be like with an ex-partner?

Am I the Only One?

Does everyone frequently picture life with an ex-partner?

Does Everyone?

Is it weird to frequently picture what life would be like with an ex-partner?

Is It Weird?

Why do I frequently picture what life would be like with an ex-partner?

Why Do I?

Real stories from the community

you know how sometimes you find something like totally random and it just hits you in a WAY you didn't expect like a punch to the gut almost so i was cleaning out my grandmas attic this weekend which… …

path not taken

I was at a gallery, technically for work — auditing their financials, which is exactly as riveting as it sounds. …

path not taken

I push his stroller sometimes when we go for walks, you know? …

path not taken

i feel so dumb posting this but here goes — this is stupid but i was walking past the community garden today just after my microeconomics lecture and it just hit me. …

path not taken

Like, a moment of cognitive dissonance, I guess? …

path not taken

Frequently Asked Questions

Why do I keep thinking about an ex even when I'm happy now?▾
Even when content in your current situation, the mind can wander back to significant past relationships. This isn't necessarily a sign of unhappiness, but rather a reflection of the impact that person had on your life and the natural human tendency to ponder different outcomes.
Does picturing an ex mean I want them back?▾
Not necessarily. Imagining a different life with an ex often reflects a curiosity about the 'path not taken' rather than a desire to rekindle the relationship. It can be a way to process memories or compare past experiences with your present.
How can I reduce thoughts about an ex-partner?▾
Focusing on your present life and future goals can help. Engaging in new activities, strengthening current relationships, and consciously redirecting your thoughts when they drift to the past can be effective strategies.

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