2:17 AM. just got home. the office party was… fine. claire won the competition. everyone was so excited for her, gathering around, like a swarm. i was there, standing with the rest of them. clapped. smiled. said "congratulations, claire! your design was truly inspired!" and i meant it. mostly. her idea, the vertical garden thing for the city center, it’s… good. really good. innovative. everyone kept saying that. "so innovative!" my boss, Mr. Harrison, even put his hand on her shoulder. i saw it. my own proposal, the one with the modular housing units that could adapt to changing demographics? completely overlooked. not even a mention. i spent weeks on that. like, actual weeks. staying late, eating microwaved ramen at my desk, the fluorescent lights buzzing overhead. sketching on my ipad, then transferring it to the big drafting table. the smell of toner from the printer, the coffee machine always half-empty. i had diagrams, 3D renderings, even a cost analysis broken down by phase. printed it all out, bound it with the firm’s fancy blue cover. remember checking it, page by page, at 11:45 PM, making sure no typos. imagining them presenting it to the city council, everyone nodding. and then nothing. not even a polite rejection. just… silence. until claire’s name was called. it was like a sudden drop in air pressure. my own ideas, the ones that felt so fresh, so logical, just… disappeared. evaporated. the feeling in my chest, it’s not really anger. it’s more like… an absence. like something was supposed to be there, and it just isn’t. a kind of hollow. i kept smiling though. throughout the toasts, the cake cutting. the office felt really loud. i offered to help clear some of the empty plastic cups. made small talk with Sarah from accounting about her commute on the 405. asked if the new express lane was making a difference. she said no, still bumper-to-bumper. i nodded. it felt like a performance. a convincing one, i think. no one looked at me strangely. now i’m here. in my apartment. the fridge hums. my laptop is still open to the firm’s internal drive. claire’s design files are already up there. my own proposal, i saved it to a personal folder. ‘project beta.’ it just sits there. unopened. feels heavy, somehow. this apartment, it’s nice, but it’s still temporary. renting. just like this feeling. temporary. but it persists. it’s just… here.