I’m 29. Two jobs, full course load. Supposed to be applying to grad programs, right? Everyone back home—my mother especially—she calls, asking if I’ve "secured my future." My future is currently changing diapers and making sure my little siblings do their homework. The older ones? My brother, 32, lawyer, married. My sister, 30, architect, lives downtown. They never pick up. Or they send a text like, "Busy, can’t talk. Everything good?" Yeah, everything’s GREAT. I just finished my shift, cooked dinner for three kids under ten, and now I’m trying to decipher a quadratic equation I haven't seen since high school. Is this normal? Does this happen in other families? I feel this... profound resentment. Not for the kids, obviously. They’re just kids. But for the situation. For the expectation that I, the youngest of the older set, am the default parent. My mother keeps saying, "Family is everything. You understand your duty." And I do. I DO understand. But there’s a part of me, a part that whispers really loud some nights, that says this isn’t duty, this is just... avoidance. From them. Am I projecting? Is this some kind of transference, where I’m blaming them for my own inability to say no? I don't know what to call this feeling. It’s like a dull ache, constantly there. My friends from university, the ones who don't have this... extensive family setup, they talk about career tracks, gap years, getting their own place. And I’m stuck here, wondering if I'll ever be able to move forward. Ever be able to just... focus on me. Is it selfish to want that? To want a life where I’m not constantly monitoring everyone else’s well-being? Or is this just the immigrant experience? The eldest siblings get to escape, build their lives, and the one who stays close to home inherits the burden. Anyone else dealing with this structural inequality within their own family system? I just want some clarity. Some understanding of what this *is*.