Hidden Caregiver Relief: You're Not the Only One

And I almost felt… peaceful? …

i keep thinking about how my chest doesn’t feel like it’s being crushed anymore and my parent’s been gone three months— is this what release feels like or just delayed grief… like relief after a… …

i guess this is one of those things you can only say anonymously right cause like otherwise people would just be SO judgy about it and i kinda get it i really do my husband frank passed away back in… …

* Because for so long, my identity was just "her daughter, her caregiver. …

My grandson, you see. …

i just got back from my parents house and wow it's quiet here in my apartment now like REALLY quiet and it's kinda freaking me out a little bit but also... …

relief? …

My grandparent, you know, my abuela, she passed away a few months ago. …

But after the funeral, after everyone left and it was just us again, it was like… the blanket lifted. …

And I’m so, so guilty for feeling amazing about it. …

It’s about my grandma, not my actual grandma but like, my great-aunt Martha who everyone calls grandma anyway because she’s super old and always just kinda *there* you know. …

This infuriating, unexpected peace. …

PROfound relief. …

Not joy, never joy, but a profound quietude that was, if I’m honest, a distinct release. …

I don't really know how to say this it feels wrong to even think it but my brother he died two weeks ago and I feel—relief. …

You know the immigrant daughter experience, right? …

My siblings, they had their excuses, their jobs, their kids – not that I didn’t have any of that, I did. …

relieved? …

And for a split second – just a flicker – there was this quiet… peace. …

It’s just relentless. …