I don't even know where to begin, like, this is probably going to sound HORRIBLE but I just... I need to say it out loud somewhere. My grandparent, you know, my abuela, she passed away a few months ago. And obviously, like, it was sad. It was really sad. But the thing is... the thing NO ONE talks about is how much I was doing for her. For years. Since I started uni, basically. I was the one, like, driving her to appointments, making sure she ate, running her errands, just... everything. And my sibs, they helped, sort of, sometimes, but it was mostly me. I lived closest, I guess. And I loved her, I really did, but it was just so much. I was always rushing, always feeling guilty if I wanted to go out with friends or study or, you know, just be a normal college student. Like, I’d be in the library trying to cram for an exam and my phone would ring and it’s something about her meds or a doctor's appointment I forgot to reschedule. It was a constant weight, you know? Like this heavy, invisible backpack I was always wearing. And now... now she’s gone. And for the first few weeks, I was just numb. The funeral was a blur, all the family stuff, people saying "she’s in a better place" and all that. And I felt like I *should* be feeling heartbroken, truly broken. And a part of me was, for sure. But then, after everything calmed down a bit, after the initial shock wore off, I realized something. Like, I woke up one morning and there was no list of things I HAD to do for her. No appointments to remember, no special food to buy. And it hit me. It just HIT me. This HUGE, like, a MOUNTAIN of responsibility just... lifted. Poof. Gone. And I felt... lighter. And that's the messed-up part, right? Because I actually feel... FREE. I can actually focus on my studies, I can hang out with people without constantly checking my phone, I can just BREATHE. And I feel so, so guilty about it. How can I feel this way? How can I feel relieved that my own grandparent is gone? It makes me feel like such a monster, you know? Like I'm betraying her memory or something. But it’s true. It’s absolutely true. And I don’t know what to do with that feeling, how to even process it, or if it's even okay to feel this way. I just... needed to say it somewhere that isn't my head.