am i the only one who feels like a total PIECE OF TRASH for even thinking about money? i’m doing this like... freelance marketing associate stuff for this brand online. it’s mostly just making posts and answering comments and stuff but they call me an "associate" which feels fake. my boss is kind of cool i guess but today i had to ask for more money because i’m doing way more hours than before. i was sitting at the kitchen table with my laptop and i just felt SICK typing the email. my dad came home right when i was about to hit send. he works in a warehouse... like 12 hour shifts and his back is basically broken at this point. he just sat down and didn't even say anything, just looked at his boots. my mom is the same, she cleans houses and her hands are always red and peeling from the bleach and stuff. they’ve done that for literally TWENTY YEARS and i know for a fact they never asked for a raise. not once. they just take what they get and say thank you and keep working until they can’t move. reasons why i feel like a spoiled brat: 1. i’m sitting in a chair with the AC on while they’re literally sweating 2. i’m complaining about "rates" when my dad works for minimum wage 3. i’m even using words like "negotiate" which sounds so STUPID when you say it out loud 4. my hands don't even hurt, i'm just... sort of tired of staring at a screen? 5. it feels like i'm betraying them or something i guess i finally hit send on the email and my heart was beating so fast i thought i was gonna pass out. i asked for an extra two dollars an hour. TWO DOLLARS. i felt like a criminal. then my dad looked up and asked what i was doing and i just said "school stuff" because i couldn't tell him. how do i tell him i'm asking for more money for TIKTOKS when he can barely stand up straight? he just nodded and said "good, work hard" and i wanted to crawl under the floor and just stay there forever.