I just… I can’t even believe I’m typing this. Like, what kind of person feels this way? It’s not even a feeling I can name, exactly. Just… heavy. And sick. I mean, it was supposed to be everything, you know? The big day. THE day. And it was. It really was. The flowers, oh god, the flowers alone cost more than my first car, which, okay, I know that sounds like a rural thing but it’s true. Every single detail, perfect. The marquee on the field overlooking the valley – you could practically see my grandmother’s house from there, which was actually kind of a nice touch, for her. Everyone was there. Everyone. All the people from here, who have known us forever, known *me* forever, since I was like, knee-high, running around the annual fete or whatever. And it was beautiful. Everyone said so. And it felt… good. During. It felt good. But then this morning. Woke up. Sun was streaming in, that really bright, almost blinding kind of light we get here, especially in summer. And everything was still there. The remnants. Ribbons everywhere, those little fairy lights still tangled in the bushes. And the marquee, still up, looking kind of… deflated? I don't know, just, not like it did yesterday. And I saw all those expensive centerpieces, those floral arrangements, wilting. Just starting to droop, petals dropping onto the damp grass. And it hit me. Like a punch. Just… a wave of… anger? Sadness? I don’t know. It was SO much. So much money. So much effort. So much… expectation. From everyone. And from myself, I guess. And for what? For a bunch of dead flowers? For a temporary structure that will be gone by Tuesday, probably. And I just felt this… hollowness. Like, is THIS it? After all these years, all the talk, all the planning, all the… everything. Is this the reward? This feeling? Because it doesn’t feel like a reward. It feels like… a loss. Like something just drained out of me, and all that’s left is this sort of quiet, bitter resentment. And I don’t even know who it’s directed at. Myself, for wanting this? For letting myself get caught up in all of it? Or just the sheer… pointlessness of it all. What did we even DO. What was the point. Now what.