i dont know if this counts as a real confession and i'm really scared to even type this because it feels like if i say it out loud then it becomes real but i have to tell someone or i think i might just explode or something. i’m only sixteen and everythign feels so big all the time and i just want to draw my pictures and stay in my room but lately i can’t even do that because of what’s happening in the kitchen and the garage and i feel like i'm the one who is lying even though i'm not the one drinking. it feels like this heavy weight on my chest every morning when i wake up and i see her.