i don’t even know why im typing this i guess it’s just one of those nights where everything is just too much. im a senior in high school right? like supposed to be figuring out college applications and prom dates and all that but instead im here at like 2am trying to figure out how to stretch a hundred bucks for groceries to last us two weeks cause the electric bill was like WAY higher than last month and my parents just don’t get it. they just nod and say ‘ah bueno’ when i tell them the total but it’s like they don’t see the numbers they just see that it’s handled cause i handle it. always me. i translate everything. the bank statements the doctor’s notes the phone calls with customer service when the internet goes out. it’s like im their personal google translate and accountant and everything else rolled into one. and it’s not like they ASKED me to do it you know? it just sort of… happened. they struggle so much with english still and i remember seeing this huge pile of unopened mail when i was like 12 and my mom was crying cause she didn’t understand why the power company was threatening to shut us off. so i opened it all and figured it out. and ever since then it’s just been me. handling everything. and now im trying to write my college essays about my ‘passions’ and ‘aspirations’ and all i can think about is like, what if i go away for college? who’s gonna make sure the lights stay on? who’s gonna pay the water bill? who’s gonna go to costco at 7am on a saturday to get the deals cause i calculated it saves us like twenty dollars a month doing that? it’s just exhausting. i feel so old sometimes like im already living an adult life but then im still a kid who just wants to go hang out with friends and not worry about like the fluctuating price of eggs. everyone else is talking about their parents helping them with financial aid forms and im here trying to explain to my dad why buying that extra pack of cervezas will mean we can’t get the good quality rice this month. and i love them i really do but sometimes i just wanna scream like CAN SOMEONE ELSE JUST HANDLE IT FOR ONCE? just one time. that’s it. i just want one night where i don’t have to think about money or bills or anything like that. just one night. but it never happens. and i guess it never will.