I feel like I'm just... existing now. Like, I used to be a musician, played gigs, toured even, and now I'm just here, in this house, watching the kids grow up and wondering if that's all there is for me. Is that weird? To miss something that was so much work, so much moving around, when I *chose* to stay home? I love my kids, I do, but sometimes I look at this quiet rural life and wonder where the hell I went. Like, what even is my identity anymore beyond 'mom'? It feels like a piece of me just... fizzled out. And then I feel guilty for even thinking that, like I should be happy with what I have, but I'm not. Not completely.