I feel pretty dumb even writing this out. Like who cares, right? But it's late and I can't sleep. Again. My mom died a few months ago. It was… hard. She was sick a long time. So like, there was relief. I’m saying it. There was. I felt bad about feeling it but yeah. And after all that, I figured things would just… go back to normal. Whatever that is. Before mom got real sick, I ran everything. The community center. The food drives. The neighborhood watch. You name it. For thirty years. It was my life. People came to me for everything. "Can you help with this, [my name]?" "What do you think we should do, [my name]?" I was the one. I loved it. Felt good being the one. But mom needed me. So I stepped back. Found someone else to take over. And they did a GOOD job. Better maybe. I told myself it was fine. It was TIME. Now… I try to help out. I show up for meetings. I offer ideas. And it's like… they don't NEED me. Not really. I'm just… there. The new person, they got it all figured out. Everyone looks to them now. And I just sit there. Thinking of things I used to do. Things I used to SAY. And no one asks. No one even looks my way. I tried to suggest something about the park clean-up last week and the new guy just said "Oh, we actually decided to go a different route this year." Just like that. It's stupid. I know it is. I SHOULD be happy. Happy for them. Happy I got more time now. More time for… what? My kids are grown, doing their own thing. Don't need me anymore either. Mom's gone. The community center is fine without me. My whole life was about helping. Taking care. And now… there's nothing left for me to take care of. It's like I don't know who I am anymore. Just some old lady who used to do things. It sucks. And I hate that I even care.