i gotta get this off my chest and it's so dumb but it's been bugging me all day. like i dont even know why im typing it out i prob sound like a whiny baby or something. but my mom called earlier and she was at the deli, you know, the one near her place. and she sounded like totally defeated. she's 68 now and she was just trying to get some damn sliced turkey and she said people kept cutting in front of her. like younger people, probably my age or even younger. and she just stood there. like she didnt want to say anything. she said she just waited and waited even though she was there first. she just kept getting skipped over. and she didnt even sound angry, just... tired. like it was expected. and it just made me so damn sad and pissed off at the same time. i remember when i was a kid she would go into any store and just GET whatever she needed. like if someone tried to skip her she'd give em the stare down. she never put up with that kinda crap. she was always so strong. and now she's just letting it happen. i mean, she's older, yeah, but it's like a switch flipped. like she just accepted that people are gonna treat her like she's invisible. and i just kept thinking about that performance review i had last week where my boss kept cutting me off and i just let it happen too. like is this what happens when you get older? you just… fade? you just let people walk all over you because you dont want to make a fuss? and i wanted to tell her to just say something. like, 'hey, im next.' but i didnt. i just listened and told her to make sure they gave her good quality cheese or whatever. it just made me think about like, am i doing the same thing? letting little things slide at work because im tired of the fight? is this just the beginning of that? god, i hope not. i mean im not 68 but... it just feels like the world is kinda pushing her aside and im just watching it happen and it makes me feel like a total shit daughter. like i should have been there to just stand up for her. but i wasnt. i was just on the phone. and now im just sitting here at 2am thinking about deli meat and feeling like a fraud. like im getting old and soft too. it sucks.