I guess this is kinda stupid but I gotta say it somewhere. This isn’t a huge deal or anything. I ran a marathon today. Not my first one but this one was... different. I really pushed it. My kids kept telling me “Baba, you’re too old for this” but I didn’t listen. My mother, she just shakes her head and says “Why you make yourself suffer? Eat some good food, relax.” But I trained for months. Early mornings before work, long runs on the weekends when everyone else was sleeping. I had this time in my head. This PB. My personal best. Something to prove, maybe. To myself. Or to them. I don’t know. The last few miles, man, my legs were screaming. Every part of me wanted to just stop, walk it in. But I kept thinking about that time. Kept telling myself, “Just push a little more. Just a little more.” And I did it. Crossed the finish line. Saw the clock. It was like, a minute and a half faster than my goal. I actually did it. For a second, I felt... something. Like a real rush. Then I was in the cooling tent. All these people around me, high-fiving, stretching, talking about their times. And I just stood there. Hydrating, listening to the buzz. And it hit me. Like a truck. That feeling. The one I always have. Like I’m not quite enough. It was still there. Right behind my ribs. Like I hadn't done anything special at all. Like it didn't change ANYTHING. It’s dumb, I know. I should be proud. My wife is proud. My kids messaged me “congrats Baba!” My parents even called. But it’s still there. This ache. Like no matter what I do, how fast I run, how much money I make, how much I help my family... it’s just not enough. And now I’m just tired. And I don’t know what to do about it. What even is it? Why can’t I just feel good? This is kinda stupid to say out loud. Sorry.