pills. …

I watch the clock hit 10:17 PM and count out five tiny blue pills and two oblong white ones and my stomach clenches into a knot of cold dread because if I mess up just one and he goes down again and… …

Inside are a few Vicodin, left over from when I broke my foot falling off the top bunk during basic training—dumbest thing I ever did, really. …

I missed the 10 PM dose of his anticoagulant because I fell asleep on the rug.