I’m so screwed. So incredibly screwed. It’s 2 AM and I’m just staring at this blank screen, again. Three weeks. Three weeks until my dissertation is due and I have practically nothing. I feel sick to my stomach. Like, actual physical nausea just thinking about it. Because I know why. I know exactly why. I spent the last month playing video games. A whole damn month. Instead of writing, instead of researching, instead of doing literally anything productive, I just… gamed. Hours and hours. My partner was sick again, really bad this time, and I was just trying to keep everything together. The house, the bills, making sure they ate something, making sure they took their meds, driving them to appointments. It was just one thing after another. And when I finally got a moment, a second to breathe, I just… escaped. I just turned on the console and disappeared into some other world where the stakes were digital and I could actually win something for once. And now here I am. Staring at this cursor blinking at me, mocking me. My advisor probably thinks I’m some kind of genius who’s just going to magically pull it all together at the last minute. "You're so capable," she said last week. "I know you'll get it done." She has no idea. NO IDEA. I’m not capable. I’m just… tired. So tired of being the capable one. The one who handles everything. The one who always figures it out. The worst part is the guilt. It’s eating me alive. Every time I tried to sit down and write, my brain just went blank. Like a big, empty void. And then the voice starts, you know? "You wasted so much time. You’re a failure. You’re never going to finish." And then I just wanted to go back to the game. Where I wasn’t a failure. Where I could actually achieve something. Even if it was just some stupid quest. So yeah. Three weeks. And a mountain of nothing. I feel like I’m going to throw up. I just want to cry but I can’t even do that. Because who has time for crying when you have to save your entire academic career in 21 days while still making sure your partner doesn't accidentally overdose on Tylenol PM because they’re too out of it to read the label. God. I just want to sleep for a year.