I’m sitting here in this hotel room in downtown chicago and the lights from the skyscrapers are just bleeding through the cheap curtains and I can still hear the bass from the reception downstairs thumping in the floorboards like a heartbeat and I’m just thinking about how I spent the last five hours smiling until my face ached while looking at people half my age who have ten times what I’ll ever have and it’s the same feeling I had thirty years ago, the same exact feeling of being the small person in the room the person who didn't figure it out.