ok so like idk what is happening but my factory foreman just got shortlisted for this huge regional management gig and its a big deal for him and our whole team is buzzing about it because he totally deserves it hes been there forever and knows everything and hes like the bedrock of the whole place and the supervisor who put him forward is really really pushing for him like shes going to bat for him constantly and its just a good vibe but now hes starting to pick fights with her and its like small things but theyre consistent and almost like he’s trying to provoke a reaction and im sitting here like an idiot trying to figure out the psychodynamics of it all like is it an unconscious self-sabotage mechanism or some kind of transference or like a displaced aggression bc hes feeling overwhelmed or something and im trying to study for my organizational behavior midterm and all i can think about is this whole weird dynamic and its making my brain ache. and im like 30 now right and everyone is like when are you getting married and when are you having kids and when are you going to stop studying and get a REAL job and im just over here watching this guy almost trip himself up right before his big break and it just feels so… relatable in a horrible way like am i going to be like that when i finally get my big shot am i going to unconsciously sabotage myself because i dont feel like i deserve it or because the pressure is too much or is it just a way to exert control when youre feeling powerless like hes trying to control the narrative by creating drama before someone else does and its making me question everything about my own career trajectory and like my own internal scripts about success and failure and i just cant stop thinking about it. and hes such a good dude usually like really solid and consistent and helpful and now he’s just… being weird and abrasive and not in a malicious way but like a confused way almost like hes testing her limits or something and i just dont GET it and i feel so bad for the supervisor because shes really invested in him and now shes just looking perplexed and like a little hurt and hes totally oblivious or hes like hyper-aware and just cant stop himself and its giving me so much anticipatory anxiety about my own future and like my own potential for self-sabotage when things actually start going well and i just feel this huge weight of expectation from literally everyone and now i cant sleep bc im just dissecting this whole scenario and like applying all my psych theories to it and it just doesnt make sense like the variables dont align with any of the models and im just… stuck.