Okay, so this is probably gonna sound super fucking weird, but does anyone else ever feel like… missing a whole piece of what makes humans human? Like, everyone around me, my friends, even my husband sometimes, they talk about this *thing*. This physical pull, this instant spark, this whole… *attraction* thing. And they describe it, you know? Like "oh my god, his eyes, I just knew" or "her laugh makes my stomach flip." And I just… I don't get it. I’ve tried. I’ve gone on dates, I’ve been in relationships, I’m *married* for fuck’s sake. And I love my husband, I really do. He's my best friend, he's a great dad, we have a really good life. But that specific, visceral, gut-level *wanting* that everyone talks about? I’ve never felt it. Not for him, not for anyone. Man, woman, non-binary, doesn’t matter. It’s just… not there. And it’s not like I don’t feel *anything*. I feel affection, warmth, intellectual connection, a deep sense of caring. But when my friends at lunch are going on about someone’s jawline or how someone smells or the way their hand felt when they brushed it? I’m just smiling and nodding, trying to look like I know what the hell they’re talking about. I’ve always kinda just… faked it till I made it, I guess. Thought it would kick in eventually. That I’d meet the right person and then BAM, I’d finally understand. But it’s been thirty-something years now. And with the kids, being home all the time, my whole world shrinking, it’s just made me think about it even more. Like, is this just me? Am I some kind of broken human? Or am I just… different? It’s just weird because it feels like such a fundamental part of how people connect, how families are made, how art is inspired, all this shit. And I'm just… on the outside looking in. Like, I’m going through the motions, building a perfectly normal life, raising amazing kids, being a "successful architect" (hah, yeah right, feels like a lifetime ago) but there’s this whole dimension that everyone else seems to have access to that I just don’t. Anyone else feel like this? Like, is this a thing? Or am I just completely alone in this? Because honestly, it’s starting to make me feel pretty isolated. Like there's a secret language everyone else speaks and I only know how to read the subtitles. And it makes me feel like such a fraud.